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What the frick’s the point of alcohol-free beer?
Really, come on… riddle me this – what’s the point of alcohol-free beer? If you can come up with a reasonably good answer (and you don’t work for a beer company selling the crap) I’ll set you up for life.
I ask this because I’ve been on a self-imposed sabbatical from the booze for (quick count in iCal) 72 days now. Now, I’ve tried it all in that time – Christmas dinners, nights out with crazy friends, nights out with even crazier friends, and, last night, one of my favourite nights of the year, Superbowl Sunday.
In all those nights out I’ve tried drinking Coke, Diet Coke, Red Bull, Sprite, 7Up, Fanta, Club Orange, Pure Orange, still water, sparkling water. The list is endless. None of which make for happy drinking over an evening. Too much Coke and you’re all jittery when you finally hit the sack. Too much water and you think you’re close to dying of boredom.
So last night, Superbowl Sunday, I decided that since there’d be a big pot of chili on the go as well as potato skins and chicken wings, it was time to try out one of the worst inventions of all time – alcohol-free beer (you can tell I was rooting for alcohol-free beer).
Much like Dominos deciding to produce a baseless, tomato sauceless, cheeseless pizza, alcohol-free beer seems to be the invention of a lunatic.
I had a choice, too. My gracious host had bought a couple of bottles of Cobra Zero and I’d brought some Bavaria 0.0% with me too. If I didn’t know any better, I’d have thought Cobra had filled a 300 gallon stainless steel beer vat with water and got Homer Simpson boozed up on Duff Lite and then asked him to piss into it. Because that’s what it tasted like. It was so inoffensive I had to double check I wasn’t drinking water.
So I switched to the Bavaria and whilst it at least had a hint of beer, it was none to satisfying either. Even without the Pittsburgh Steelers involved this year it was a great Superbowl. It was great chili, though a little hot. But the alcohol-free beer was useless. I’d only tried it as my last resort of what to drink when out sober. And it’s made me realise that you might as well just drink nothing.
I can’t ask this enough, because no one can answer me… what the frick’s the point in alcohol-free beer?
17 Responses to “What the frick’s the point of alcohol-free beer?”
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fattakin said on Monday, February 8, 2010, 15:18
Say you were a pregnant lady in the very early days of conception and you still wanted to enjoy that Friday after work nibble of Crisps & Beer .. a few non alocholic ones go down a treat.
Though they cannot replace the pleasure of a nice glass of wine with dinner!
I have a few Saturdays nights coming up where i have to drive, ive only done it once before. Coke or non alcoholic beer?
johnferris said on Monday, February 8, 2010, 15:22
Coke, without a flippin’ doubt. Seriously, I can’t believe how tasteless the Cobra stuff was. At least the Bavaria tasted like cheap out of date beer, the Cobra was seriously like water. Shame this campaign is over – http://www.designated-driver.co.uk/ – you could have had a couple of free cokes. After 10+ weeks on the wagon, I can honestly say the most annoying thing about being out is not being able to find something decent to drink as an alternative. I have nearly started to understand people after midnight when they begin speaking a different, alcohol-fuelled language!
Graham said on Monday, February 8, 2010, 18:02
I started drinking it when I started my own business. I found that I ended up working until the early hours some nights and mixing that with a beer (and I love beer BTW) just didn’t work out.
This has since led to me trying just about everything under the sun. I am putting reviews together on my website slowly. I get emails from people who drink it for a whole host of reasons.
Yes, it is not as good as the real thing, but sometimes it just feels good to have a cold bottle in your hand.
Graham said on Monday, February 8, 2010, 18:03
…Oh and PS – Great super bowl, brave move that onside kick!
John Ferris said on Monday, February 8, 2010, 18:09
That’s the experience I was after – there was a big pot of hot chili, a good game on TV and I just wanted a cold one in my hand… and yes, it was a very brave move, though last year’s last second winner for the Steelers will always be etched in my mind as the greatest Superbowl moment (though I’m biased being a Steelers fan)!
koffeeman said on Monday, February 8, 2010, 21:05
it has to be ice cold and you are only going to get 2 bottles worth of enjoyment before your brain tells you to give up!
erdinger do a decent one.
John Ferris said on Tuesday, February 9, 2010, 14:04
Ha ha, I have given up on the alcohol free stuff. Back to water I think!
Graham said on Tuesday, February 9, 2010, 21:33
I’m a Dolphins fan myself, but only since their trip to Wembley in 2007, so no Super Bowls for me yet. Attending a real game on alcohol free would be a big challenge…….mind you the Wembley lager is not far off!
Have you been to a game?
John Ferris said on Tuesday, February 9, 2010, 22:14
Yeah, I lived in Pittsburgh for six months so caught a game against the Bengals in 1997 or 98. Tailgate parties are something else…you’ll do well to find alcohol free beer at one of those!!
Graham said on Wednesday, February 10, 2010, 0:37
I bet that was good. Did the Steelers win?
Are you heading to Wembley this year? You could get a good few articles trying to track down good food for a good price there!
John Ferris said on Wednesday, February 10, 2010, 9:55
Ha ha true, I’d guess it would be a killer trying that. Don’t think I’m for the game, I have vowed the next time I head to London it’ll be to eat at the Waterside Inn and Fat Duck in Bray. Though when I’ll have enough money is anyone’s guess!! Yeah, the Steelers won, we got box seat tickets from a guy we thought was a tramp but who turned out to own one of Pittsburgh’s biggest haulage firms and went in a limo so it was a thoroughly good day all round! Did you go to the Dolphins game?
Graham said on Wednesday, February 10, 2010, 10:18
Wow, guess it goes to show that we shouldn’t judge people at first glance.
Yes I have been to all three games at Wembley so far, and have tickets for this October. Well worth a visit.
My parents head to the Fat Duck now and again, they love it. Still on my list of places to try.
Oh and back to the beer, give Krombacher a go before you write it off – http://www.alcoholfreereview.com/alcohol-free-beer-reviews/krombacher-alcohol-free-pilsner-review
johnferris said on Wednesday, February 10, 2010, 10:20
I’ll give Krombacher a try and see, I guess it’s like everything else – there’s good and bad types. Though I’m not a huge beer drinker anyway. I’ll put a link to your site on my links page too Graham
cb said on Wednesday, February 10, 2010, 10:27
why not just drink real beer?
johnferris said on Wednesday, February 10, 2010, 10:32
Because I am off the drink
Graham said on Thursday, February 11, 2010, 0:22
Thanks John, I’ll put a link to your site on our links page too.
mohamadreza said on Saturday, May 22, 2010, 22:31
i requirment represeritation bavaria drink non alcholic at iran pleese conduce