WHEN Squinter read that there’s a play starting at the Lyric soon called Molly Wobbly’s Tit Factory, at first he thought it was a homage to bare-bellied taxi drivers (see story left). But then he asked about the office and learned that it’s actually a musical.

Time to learn more, thought Squinter, and so he prepared to key into Google ‘Molly Wobbly’s Tit Factory’. But as his finger hovered over the send button, he had second thoughts. With all these co-workers around and about, what’s likely to come up on the screen if you run that search? Certainly a little-known musical in a provincial Irish theatre is likely to be near the bottom of the list, Squinter figured, and other more earthy responses are much more likely to be displayed in image and word. And so he cancelled the search.

A few Twitter chums give Squinter the gen. Apparently it’s a thought-provoking and funny production which takes a swipe at society’s preoccupation with physical appearance ahead of  the beauty that lies within us all. Which is all very well, but Squinter doesn’t think anything could ever be as funny as getting some Free Presbyterians to rare up about it. Getting a DUP politician or a Reverend from up the country to give off about it at a picket of the Lyric would be worth the admission fee on its own. Nearly.

–Why shouldn’t I go in there, Reverend?

–Well, my objection is very clear. It says it clearly, in Corinthians. ‘Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived – neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.’ Those words apply directly to that play.

–What play are you talking about, Reverend?

–The new one. The one that’s on in there, you know.

– No, I don’t know. What’s it called?

– Molly Thingummy’s Whatchamacallit Factory.

– Molly Who’s What Factory?

– Molly (inaudible’s) (inaudible) Factory.

– What? Did you hear what that man just said to me?

It’s been too long since the Free Ps put on a good picket of a movie or a play. Squinter blames the peace process for diverting the superProds away from their true calling in life, which is wearing anoraks and shouting through loudhailers. The sooner the DUP gets back to that kind of thing and forgets about this shared future nonsense the better for us all.