WE can spend a lifetime asking ourselves what is missing, what needs fixing, or what we must achieve before we can be happy. Yet perhaps a more useful question is much simpler: What makes me happy?
Try asking yourself that question today. Also, ask somebody else. Give them time to answer, and listen with curiosity. You might be surprised how rarely happiness arrives wearing a designer label or carrying a winning lottery ticket.
More often, it comes as a smile. A walk beside the sea. Sunlight finding its way through the trees. A friend calling for a yarn. Hearing laughter from another room. Seeing somebody we love enjoying themselves.
As Westies, we understand something about the value of ordinary things. A familiar face on the Falls Road, a neighbour asking how you are, or a gentle dander through the Falls Park can remind us that happiness is often close enough to touch. We simply need to notice it.
That is where this little mindfulness hack comes in. Pause, take a breath, and ask: “What has brought me a moment of happiness today?” There is no need for a grand answer. Perhaps your tea was just right. Perhaps somebody let you out at a junction. Perhaps you heard a blackbird singing.
Stay with that memory for a few breaths. Notice whatever warmth, ease or appreciation appears. We are so adept at replaying what annoys us that we sometimes forget we can also give our attention to what nourishes us.
A great Tibetan lama once told me to practice the meditation of smiling. His teaching has stayed with me ever since. A simple smile, he explained, can be a prayer of thanks and humility, offered to ourselves and others without a single word.
Sometimes words get in the way. We explain, analyse and complicate something that the heart already understands. A gentle smile can express gratitude, welcome and kindness before we have worked out what to say.
To this day, I believe this is the best practice we can offer ourselves and others: A small, sincere smile, with nothing to prove and nobody to impress.
Of course, there are days when smiling feels difficult. We need kindness on those days too. This practice leaves room for sadness, grief and worry. We can acknowledge what hurts while remaining open to one small moment of comfort.
And happiness need not belong only to us. Seeing a friend flourish, a child laugh, or a neighbour receive good news gives us another opportunity to smile. Their joy can brighten our day as well.
So, ask the question around your kitchen table, on your next walk, or over a cuppa with friends.
“What makes you happy?”
Then notice how many answers are simple.
Perhaps happiness begins when we stop overlooking the life already here – our friends, our community, the sea, the forest, and each other.
Keep it simple. Let a smile become your wordless thank you.
