When you’re feeling down and the world’s a dump,When you’re always whingeing and taking the hump;Don’t be so glum and down in the lip,Go get yourself a Christmas chip. If the horse you bet has come in last,If your best days lie in the distant past;If your grip on reality’s starting to slip,Get wired into a Christmas chip. If you’ve been told to vape and bin the fegs,When they keep on taking down your flegs;Do the right thing and take this tip:Stick your face in a Christmas chip. If a united Ireland seems far off,And you’re worried about a persistent cough;When your last good sleep was only a blip,Remember there’s always a Christmas chip.
