AN Irishman, a Welshman and an Englishman walk into a police training college...
If that sounds like the approach of the worst joke you've heard since your inappropriate uncle began to tell you about the time the Mule Hennessy had too many Smithwicks on him when he met the vet’s wife, you would be right.
At last week’s PSNI “passing out” ceremony Jon Boutcher smiled as he watched Secretary of State Chris Bryant carry on his paternal insulting of every citizen living here,and Taoiseach Micheál Martin play party politics with trauma and fundamental concern regarding the PSNI.
We all know that the Corkman really, really hasn’t a high opinion of Sinn Féin. And he hasn’t hidden it. It appears to inform his approach to many things from public pay awards to public procurement, and even to Irish unity. So when he blamed Sinn Féin for not enough Catholics being in front of him in the latest intake of PSNI officers it was par for his course. But it was inappropriate, and went too far.
The PSNI is utterly unrepresentative of our communities: Catholics, women, minorities, those with disabilities; none of them of Sinn Féin’s making. But there is one bottom line, which former PSNI Assistant Chief Constable Judith Gillespie reminded us of last week as the PSNI turned 25 – it is proud to build its legacy on the RUC. And how.
So when it arrests three times more Catholics than Protestants; when its officers pose with Catholic suicide victims and share those images on WhatsApp; when its members arrest victims of collusion for remembering their murdered relatives; when they tell our entire community it has to stop pursuing the truth about RUC collusion in the murder of their beloved family and community members through the routine use of Public Interest Immunity Certificates; when they tolerate illegal bonfires and loyalist paramilitaries running rampant in pre-planned racist attacks; and when they tool up, ready for action at the Garvaghy Road; well, that is the RUC legacy of which it is proud, and which tells Catholics they have no home. And Micheál Martin should be far more exercised about that than standing with a smug Jon Boutcher parroting the propaganda, blaming Catholics for their own exclusion, rather than engaging with a meaningful process of change.
But that was nothing compared to Mr Smiley and Smashy Bryant telling us we are all addicted to abnormality. Take a breath now. Count to ten. No, it is still as breathtaking in its pompous absurdity. Mr Bryant is the ninth British Secretary of State since England and his country voted to commit economic and political self-harm and leave the EU. Something he believed was madness. Something which we here knew was “abnormal” and which we voted against, and were still dragged out against our democratic wishes.
He resides in a parliament which has seen seven prime ministers since then. His own party deposed a Prime Minister with a historic general election mandate, replacing him with a more media-savvy guy, hoping to stave off the challenge of the far-right Reform that is eating the Labour party alive. But, hey, tell us about our local addiction to abnormality!
And just to add insult to injury, the sycophancy of those interviewing both men not challenging the absurdity of their statements added to the moment. Maybe it was a joke after all.
On us.
