EARLIER this month I with many others joined the family of Caoimhe Morgan as we walked to the top of Cave Hill in memory of Caoimhe and to raise awareness of the level of violence against women in our society.
It was very moving but sobering as many of us reflected while walking on how we have all almost resigned ourselves to the fact that in our society it is the accepted norm that women don’t feel safe and that responsibility for our safety largely falls to us.
In the short time since Caoimhe’s brutal murder, other women across these islands have been killed with many more subject to violence and abuse behind the closed door of what is meant to be your safest space in life, your home.
The first step in tackling a problem is to acknowledge it exists and when it comes to violence against women and girls, we aren’t calling it out enough. It gets a flurry of attention every time a mother, a daughter, a sister is murdered but then it fades away as we all go about our daily lives and forget, forget until the next time it happens.
It is deeply disturbing that on an issue which almost every female will experience, that society is allowed to forget until a horrific murder forces it temporarily onto the media and public’s radar.
The reality is that most of us do not feel safe. Almost every one of us has felt that fear rising when we hear footsteps behind us and we are walking alone. Almost every one of us has carried our keys in our hands as a form of self-defence if needed or pretended to be on the phone when walking alone.
For so many of us making sure we have a rape alarm in our bag has become as routine as making sure a hair brush is there too. And in some cases, women just don’t leave the house after dark.
Think about that reality for a minute. A reality lived by half of our population in 2022. A reality where girls and women not only face daily anxieties about our own safety but a reality where our freedoms, our opportunities are, as a result, much more limited than our male relatives and friends. I don’t want to live like this and I certainly don’t want my daughters to have to experience this. We deserve equality. We deserve to be safe.
Yes, there has been some progress in tackling violence against women but it is nowhere near enough. The strategies and commitments need to be translated into clear action plans with the funding and resources in place to enable the organisations doing this vital work to make that lasting difference, to provide support and focus on prevention.
To all those women who have lost their lives to violence, who continue to suffer at the hands of an abuser, we must tackle the root cause of the violence, the disrespect, the intolerance, the objectification and control by some men.
And men themselves have a critical role to play in this re-education and culture change. This culture change needs to be led by Government, driven in schools, taught in homes.
Enough is enough. We cannot wait any longer.
