Tough decision for judges in a year chock-full of outstanding contributions to consistency

KEMI BADENOCH
“We need to move away from these things and actually focus on what matters to people,” said then Tory Business Secretary and current Conservative leader Kemi Badenoch, adding: “It’s trivia, it really is.”

Kemi was speaking about Tory megadonor Frank Hester, who was in the news in March last year for making the simple observation that Labour MP Diane Abbott makes the country “want to hate all black people” and adding that in his view Ms Abbott “should be shot.”

West Yorkshire Police told us that an investigation into Mr Hester’s comments was “ongoing” today – over a year after their inquiry commenced. 

Asked about Kneecap’s “Kill a Tory MP” remark on-stage, Ms Badenoch’s position on threats to MPs had shifted somewhat – about 180 degrees somewhat: “I just think they should be banned. Full stop.”

*Frank Hester donated £15,000 to the Tory Party.
*(Presses middle finger to ear and inclines head) Sorry, £15 million.
 
BBCNI
The Kneecap story across BBC Loyal Ulster’s various platforms threatened to take the title of ‘Most Swivel-Eyed Obsession’ from Ormeau Avenue’s Bobby Storey funeral coverage of June 2020. Sorry, June 2020 onward.

For me, the most moving and inspirationally audacious piece was a former death-driver and convicted blackmailer who lamented on The Former Biggest Show in the Country that Kneecap calling themselves Kneecap had hurt him in the feels. It was later reported that the same charmer had been a member of a CIRA-linked gang when the dissident group kneecapped a bloke who subsequently had his leg amputated.

But as well as allowing the death-driver/blackmailer to share his grief with us, all at BBC Ulster have for years been putting their shoulders to the wheel to make sure that Kneecap understand – and indeed the whole world understands – that there can be no place for dangerous talk in the entertainment industry.

For example, comic Fin Taylor said in 2020 on ‘Have I Got News for You’ in relation to former Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn: “So all you’ve got to do is, next year, bomb Glastonbury”. [Mr Corbyn had famously appeared onstage at Glastonbury to great acclaim.]

After the comment sparked outrage, rather than launch a fortnight-long probe into everything Mr Taylor has ever said or done; rather than seek and locate some people who think blowing up Glastonbury, or joking about blowing up Glastonbury, is not a good idea, the BBC took a different tack. “It was clear,” they said in a statement, “that comedian Fin Taylor was talking about an utterly absurd scenario.”  The statement went on to say that Taylor’s blow-up-a-festival words were “in no way to be taken seriously.”

Unlike the Kneecap Tory remarks, which were entirely serious words uttered by a band singing about Buckfast and drugs while driving about in an RUC Land Rover dressed in shell suits and a green, white and orange balaclava.


THE DUP
The disgust and righteous indignation felt by the DUP about Kneecap’s words reverberated around This Here Pravince and beyond and reminded us that even if the rest of the world is going to hell in a handbasket, there’s always a little corner of the world where good, old-fashioned decency has a home. Where folk praise the Lord on Sunday and live by his example for the rest of the week.

And nowhere was that more evident than in Lisburn on Easter Monday when – hours after the death of Pope Francis – the DUP turned out in strength for an Apprentice Boys parade. Among the tunes that were played by the bands and sung along to in perfect harmony were Abide With Me, The Old Rugged Cross, The Billy Boys and No Pope of Rome.

“Hello, hello, we are the Billy Boys/Hello, hello, you’ll know us by our noise/We’re up to our knees in Fenian blood, surrender or you’ll die/For we are the Bridgeton Billy Boys.”

“No, no Pope of Rome, no chapels to sadden my eyes/No nuns and no priests, no rosary beads, every day is the twelfth of July.”

The Irish News reported that three DUP MLAs stood watching as the Billy Boys and No Pope of Rome were sung and played. The DUP say public land should not be used for displays of division and hate. That’s the public land for Kneecap’s upcoming Boucher gig, obvs; not the public land used for the slashing Fenians and making-fun-of-the-dead-Pope bands.
 
THE BELFAST TELEGRAPH
The diligence and imagination displayed by the media in keeping the Kneecap story at the top of the headlines for longer than the ‘Elvis Wins the Derby on Shergar’ story was another inspirational example of the unsung work our Fourth Estate does here to speak truth unto power. Stories along the lines of ‘Kneecap ate my hamster’ and ‘Kneecap fan worked on Fred West’s patio’ were super, soaraway exclusives that had us gasping in admiration, shock and wonder.

But it was the BelTel’s blockbusting revelation that a famous Israeli mentalist had taken his courage in his hands and joined the fight against Kneecap that proved true journalism will never die as long as the BelTel remains in Royal Avenue. The Pulitzer citation reads:

Once every generation comes a headline that defines an era...
Archduke Ferdinand slain in Sarejevo.
Soviets say Hitler died in his bunker.
Kennedy shot dead in Dallas, Johnson sworn in. 
Suspected burglars held in Watergate break-in.
Mandela’s long walk to freedom.
‘Lady Di killed in Paris car chase’.

But every reporter who ever put pencil to notebook, every sub who ever penned a headline or caption, can only marvel at the timeless magnificence of ‘Spoon bender Uri Geller wants Kneecap locked up’.
 
THE LABOUR PARTY
The iron discipline that Keir Starmer has brought to the formerly shambolic Labour Party has nowhere been more in evidence than in the party’s unanimity in declaring Kneecap the worse thing to happen since Jeremy Corbyn.

Driven by the politics of peace and empowered by their unstinting opposition to violence in whatever form it comes, Labour has brought an inspirational integrity and morality to the grubby business of politics.

Notably Jess Phillips, who said she would never be guilty of stabbing Jeremy Corbyn in the back: “I would knife Jeremy Corbyn in the front,” she said. Such a dim view was taken of that that she’s now in the cabinet. And then there are the three senior Labour figures cited in the Ford Report who discussed in a party WhatsApp group whether they would prefer to kill Jeremy Corby with a kitchen knife or an ice pick. The party again responded robustly and... did nothing.