THE new chicken-and-egg conundrum for the Scarva generation: What came first, the balaclavas or the riot police?
The DUP have already given their answer and they’re in no doubt that it’s all the fault of the PSNI. The PSNI, meanwhile, can point to the fact that blokes in masks were on the ground in Scarva in defence of their decision to gear up and bring water cannon and dogs.
Ah, replies the DUP, but people wear masks for all sorts of reasons. Yes, the PSNI may retort, but the main reason people wear masks is because they’re either up to no good or plan on getting up to no good.
Upper Bann DUP MLA Jonathan Buckley is a guy who’s worth listening to. He moved north briefly in 2024 to hand the keys of the unionist stronghold of Lagan Valley to St Dominic’s girl Sorcha Eastwood in an inspirational act of community outreach that will surely echo through the ages. His cross-community bona fides are therefore impeccable.
In conversation with Stephen Nolan on Monday, he had this to say about the Scarva stand-off: “They (police) moved the goalposts. That heightened tensions and when we seen (sic) the police dogs and water cannons, what more do they expect? They were quite literally agitating for a fight, that’s what it looked like.”
Squinter has to profess himself surprised to hear no pushback from Steeky, the man behind Peelers, an epic TV homage to the heroes of the PSNI which has delighted the Trevors so much they’re promoting it on their social media accounts. You might have expected someone so lost in admiration for the men and women in green to have something to say when an elected rep accuses them live on radio of “agitating for a fight”. But no.
Jonny’s DUP colleague, South Down MLA Diane Forsythe, who joined him on the ground in Scarva, was equally quick to level a similarly serious accusation against the PSNI.
“They (police) were determined to ram into a crowd and start a riot on Saturday,” she said. “We negotiated and agreed with police that our elected representatives would stand amongst the people on the side of law and peace.”
Let’s see if we’ve got this right. Di not only thinks the police were there on Saturday to start a riot, she believes that in standing amongst the protestors – many of them masked and shouting vile abuse – DUP reps were with those who were “on the side of law and peace”.
Even Squinter’s taken aback by all this, and he’s supposed to be the one who’s suspicious of the Trevors, not the DUP. Just shows how fast things are changing, Squinter supposes. And not always for the better.
Gaslighting the gaslighters is the only way to go these days
DID you ever feel as if you’re being gaslit?
Come on, you must have. You’re being told so every day, for Pete’s sake, and when you’re being told something so often and with such ardour, then it’s gotta be true. Gotn’t it?
When a politician stands up in the chamber, thumbs their lapels, clears their throat and earnestly assures us we’re being gaslit by this person or that agency, Squinter feels the requisite pang of indignation, but then when he stops and asks himself what’s going on, he’s never quite sure.
The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines gaslighting thusly: “Psychological manipulation of a person, usually over an extended period of time that causes the victim to question the validity of their own thoughts, perception of reality, or memories… typically leads to confusion, loss of confidence and self-esteem, uncertainty of one's emotional or mental stability, and a dependency on the perpetrator.”
MIND GAMES: Charles Boyer and Ingrid Bergman in the hit 1944 film Gaslight
And then Squinter wonders. He wonders if, when an MP says he’s not in favour of this motion or that amendment he’s really and deliberately gaslighting the public. And he wonders if what the MP said is really impacting on his self-esteem. And when an MLA tells us that it’s a good idea to have MOTs once every two years instead of once a year, Squinter wonders if that’s really gaslighting, or whether the MLA actually does think it’s a good way of addressing DVLA waiting lists. And he wonders if her thoughts on car maintenance really do lead him to question his perception of reality.
Politicians and the word gaslighting are a bit like when a toddler discovers a new word for the first time and gets a delighted cheer and round of applause from the surrounding family. The child keeps on saying it and saying it and saying it until the previously delighted family end up doing everything in their power to get said toddler to say something else.
Just this week alone Squinter has been told he’s being gaslit over Scarva; that North Belfast stabbing; the World Cup; Health Service strikes; the Jeffrey Donaldson trial; Ireland playing Israel; and Ireland selling alumina to Russia. If Squinter was in reality subjected to that much gas he’d have died of carbon monoxide poisoning by Monday lunchtime.
It’s interesting that although our politicians seem to have discovered the concept of gaslighting some time this year, the concept has been around for nearly 90 years. For it was in 1938 that Patrick Hamilton wrote the stage play Gas Light (later made into a hit movie). In Victorian London, scheming Jack Manningham is given to disappearing from the home he shares with his new bride, Bella. Alone in the house, Bella hears unexplained noises and watches as the flames in the gas lights flicker and dim. Unsure of whether what she’s seeing is real or imagined, Bella begins to lose contact with reality. The truth, it turns out, is that she’s being manipulated by her husband over a hidden family fortune. Bella, in fact, is being gaslit.
All of which seems a bit glamorous and exciting to be compared to an Assembly chamber shouting match, but here we are.
But then we’re confronted with the question, who’s Jack and who’s Bella? Who’s in the drawing room weeping and who’s scheming in the flat above?
To be honest, Squinter doesn’t think any of the politicians who use the word would be able to tell you if you asked them. Gaslighting has become a meaningless breathing space, inserted into sentences to provide time for thinking, like ‘going forward’ and ‘the reality is’.
If next time your local rep raps on your door looking for a vote and they tell you none of this is true, tell them you won’t be gaslit.
It’s what they understand.
