CYNICS (some would say realists) insist that there’s not a cigarette paper’s worth of difference between Fianna Fáil and Fine Gael. The words and actions of FF and FG TDs would seem to back that up.

Years and years ago – so long that even the man and his party appear to have forgotten all about it – Leo Varadkar promised that Northerners would never be left behind again. When he exited politics, Leo doubled down on this, calling on all parties, including his own, to make Irish unity something more than a vague aspiration.  

As he urged support for Ukraine, a Fianna Fáil TD by the name of Cathal Crowe recently called on Ireland (I’m guessing he meant the twenty-six counties) to support Ukraine. He then warmed to his task:

“Anyone who studies Irish history – we are all experts on it down here, but maybe our Ukrainian friends do not know Irish history so well – will know that Ireland endured 800 years of invading forces and plantations.

“In 1921, it was believed that in 1922 a deal could be brokered, and it would lead to peace and we could still have territory.

"It does not, because there is still a corner of our country occupied. We had the Good Friday Agreement, but it is only a stepping-stone to unification.

"It is a source of hurt for this country even a century later that Northern Ireland exists as an entity.”

Immediately the TUV was out of the traps. Councillor Allister Kyle saw the Irish TD’s words as an "attack" on the North. “Far from regarding the Belfast Agreement as a settlement, Mr Crowe described it as ‘only a stepping-stone’ to an all-Ireland.”

Full marks,  Councillor Kyle. The clue is in the name ‘Agreement’ – it’s an agreement, not a settlement.

So maith thú, Cathal. When’s the last time we heard a Fianna Fáil TD  speak out so clearly on partition? Mind you, I doubt if this was Cathal on a totally solo run. Fianna Fáil gets twitchy if its members go totally AWOL. 

The thing is, with his constant concern not to upset unionists, Micheál Martin couldn’t possibly have spoken out on the reality that is NEI. Like President Michael D Higgins, Micheál is much more comfortable criticising domination and subjection when they are a decent  distance away, like in Ukraine, but not up the road  in NEI. Micheál, if faced with the choice (yes, Virginia, unlikely, but still) of breaking wind in public or speaking about the injustice of the border, my money is on Micheál liberating his gas.

Of course, if Northern MPs and MLAs were given speaking rights in the Dáil,  we’d hear  more than Cathal speaking the plain truth about Ireland. But while Micheál is FF leader, No Nordies Here is the iron mantra.

That said, Cathal wasn't the only one to surprise me this past week. Even as the Dáil warfare raged on about Michael Lowry and co getting speaking time in the Dáil, an unlikely source confronted Micheál. Patrick Kielty, Late Late Show presenter, put it to the Taoiseach that he, Kielty, couldn’t be up on the stage as presenter and at the same time seated down in the audience. Micheál is a slippery man to catch out, but you could say that he was taken aback – surely this wasn’t the tame middle-of-the-road Late Late host he’d been promised?

The next potentially explosive point will be Micheál’s encounter with Donald Trump on Paddy’s Day. He’s been urged by the Opposition to tell Trump a few home truths about Gaza in particular.

Will he? Micheál might feel forced to speak bluntly if the TV cameras are running, as they were with that ambush on Volodymyr Zelenskyy.  Otherwise there’ll be the usual positive sounds coming from Micheál, remembering the Irish people’s contribution to the US and making sure not to stumble over any of the Trump tripwires for those who don’t play the game according to his rules.

But these hazards come with your annual  £185,000-plus salary, Micheál. So no whingeing.