NOT much point in a House of Commons Early Day Motion, if the truth be told. They’re motions that are put forward without an allocated time and so very few EDMs are actually debated.
The UK Parliament website says their purpose is to “record the view of individual MPs or to draw attention to specific events or campaigns”. The DUP have put forward two EDMs in recent months. And what, you excitedly ask, might be inflaming the passion of the party above all else in these chaotic and uncertain times? The planet on fire? The return of rickets and scurvy among the poor? Rising hospitalisations for malnutrition? Hospital waiting lists?
Well, no actually. What’s to the forefront of the minds of the two DUP MPs who forwarded the EDMs are country and western bonfires and music. Sorry, country and western music and bonfires.
In March, Strangford MP Jim Shannon forwarded an Early Day Motion wishing Dolly Parton continued joy and happiness 50 years after the release of ‘I Will Always Love You’, a song which Jimbo revealed is a particular favourite of his wife. Now there are mischief-makers who suggest that rather than use precious parliamentary time on a maudlin ballad, Jim might more profitably have chosen to highlight the need for action to end the loyalist feud in his constituency. But Squinter’s pretty sure that the nursery staff who had to rush children indoors as a gang of masked men paraded by and the residents of petrol-bombed homes would much rather Jim turned his attention to Nashville, Tennessee, than Newtownards, Strangford.
And last week, East Antrim MP Sammy Wilson put forward an EDM congratulating the builders of the “world’s biggest bonfire” at Craigyhill in Larne. Sammy noted that the bonfire is “a joint community effort involving both Protestants and Catholics” (stop sniggering at the back) and congratulated organisers for making sure that the place wasn’t too boggin’ even though the Council refused to provide bins. Sammy also said he believed “this amazing feat of engineering should be included in the Guinness Book of Records”.
Fair enough, the bonfire was built without permission; it had no insurance, no regulation, no licence and no health and safety clearance. But Squinter knows the pallet jockeys who toiled away despite the disapproving stare of officialdom will be eternally grateful for having received the Sammy Sausages Seal of Approval.
Golly! Brolly folly called out
THE Biggest Wage Packet in the Country returned to the Biggest Show in the Country on Monday after his summer break and immediately got stuck into… Sinn Féin.
And what was it about Ireland’s biggest party to which Steeky Nolan turned the considerable power of his recharged batteries? The Bobby Storey funeral, maybe. The Bobby Storey funeral, perhaps? Could it have been the Bobby Storey funeral? Or might it even have been the Bobby Storey funeral?
Amazingly, it was none of these things. Rather, it was a much more insidious and troubling matter; one which exposes the dark heart of the IRA’s political wing and highlights the extent to which the party will go to advance its dark anti-democratic agenda: Umbrellas.
OUTRAGE: Councillor asks for umbrella in new Sinn Féin shocker
Or rather, free umbrellas, because Steeks decided after due consideration that the most burning issue of the day was a story about a Sinn Féin Councillor on Mid Ulster District Council who said his Council-supplied umbrella was broken after four years and perhaps it might be a good idea to get new ones as we approach summer’s final month. His outrageous suggestion came after councillors were caught in a torrential downpour while on a site visit.
Now it’s true that the BBC supplies its staff with BBC umbrellas, otherwise what would Mark Sidebottom do during pitchside interviews at Windsor on a stormy November night? And it’s also true that it’s pretty common for councils all over Ireland and Britain to supply umbrellas to staff (not just councillors).
But a public interest story is a public interest story and it’s vital that the media robustly challenge public spending, be it taxes or rates. The DUP’s RHI adventure cost half a billion. Michelle Mone is off somewhere in her yacht avoiding questions about the £29 million she got for unusable PPE equipment. £37 billion disappeared in the Dido Harding test and trace debacle. These travesties have been exposed and so it’s only right that Cllr Seán McPeake demanding his broken JB Sports golf umbrella be replaced after four years is treated with the same urgency and diligence. Isn’t it?
