I HAVE had the privilege over the course of ministry life speaking at many Mother’s Day services. I have loved celebrating the significant roles our mums play in our lives – their love, their guidance, their wisdom and their influence to name but a few. Every mother deserves to be celebrated.
But this Mother’s Day is different for me. This is the first Mother’s Day I face without my mum. She died eight months ago. I am still adjusting to life without her. I still ache. I still hurt. I still miss her. I wish she was here.
Missing you on Mother’s Day. The Rev Karen reflects on the loss of her own mum and sends solidarity and blessings to all those who are without their guest of honour on this special day. @KarenSethuraman @Neekyatn pic.twitter.com/D4B9EH8xM5— Andersonstown News (@ATownNews) March 14, 2021
Experts say that the first year of losing someone close is particularly difficult as you face a year of many firsts without your loved one: first birthday, first holiday, first Christmas, first Mother’s Day and so on.
I confess Mother’s Day is the one I have dreaded the most. Like so many of us, I just long for this particular day to pass quickly. I am aware that I am not alone in dreading Mother’s Day. There are so many of us who face this day without our mums. For those of us who still hurt. For those of us who still ache. For those of us who still question. For those of us who get angry. For those of us who grieve.
It’s okay to take time out to be alone today. It’s okay to struggle. It’s okay to cry. The psalmist says: ‘You (God) keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in a bottle.’ (Ps 56:8.) God is present and close to the broken-hearted. You are not on your own. I pray that we will draw some comfort from knowing that the spirit of our mums live on in us and our children, her grandchildren.
Today, be gentle on yourself. Be kind to yourself. Allow those close to you to look after you. This day is not an easy one. But we will get through.
Calling your mum to say Happy Mother’s Day today? Why not check if she has a working smoke alarm? One of the kindest things you can do for your mum is to make sure she knows about Fire safety. It’s the gift that keeps on giving all year round! pic.twitter.com/EeJj7aUnRY— Northern Ireland Fire & Rescue Service (@NIFRSOFFICIAL) March 14, 2021