Sunday 6 July, marked the 90th birthday of His Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama. When his birthday comes around, I pause and pinch myself as I reflect on one of the most surreal experiences of my life: meeting the Dalai Lama during his visit to our wee city in the autumn of 2000.
I still smile at the reason I was chosen to assist him during his three day visit. At that time I was known to a number of people as the 'Belfast Buddhist' and that was that.
I remembers his first words to me vividly, “Lighten up." And lighten up we did during what was an unforgettable few days.
One of the most profound moments took place at Clonard Monastery, where His Holiness was welcomed with a heartfelt Céad Míle Fáilte from Gerry Adams
Clonard holds a very personal place in my story. As a boy, I was an altar boy and later a choir boy there. It was my spiritual sanctuary growing up in the Clonard community. And now here I was years later, a practicing Buddhist standing alongside the Dalai Lama himself, right where my journey began.
The name Dalai Lama translates to “Ocean of Wisdom”. I, along with many others, can truly vouch for the truth in that title. When you’re in his presence, you experience something that’s hard to describe. You feel seen. You feel still. You feel present.
He reminds us in the simplest ways that everything’s Okay, right here, right now. That all we need is already within us.
What struck me most was the Dalai Lama's humility, his compassion, and his unwavering kindness. He has always made it clear that first he is a human being. Second he is a Tibetan buddhist and last, but not least, the Dalai Lama.
His central teaching is profoundly simple; Help others. And if you can’t help then don’t hurt. Words that still guide me.
One moment that stays with me was at Lanark Way, when he planted a tree with the help of Fr Gerry Reynolds (now sadly departed). I remember he said the following to the crowd, “Choose to be optimistic, it feels better.” He added, “A disciplined mind leads to happiness. An undisciplined mind leads to suffering. Be kind whenever possible and remember it is always possible.”
It wasn’t just what he said, it was how he said it. He radiated peace. And his humour? Pure medicine.
His final engagement in Our City was in St Anne’s Cathedral, after his talk he retired upstairs to await his departure. I also accompanied him upstairs, where I sat across from him, with one burning question on my mind. Friends had asked me to pass on questions, but I distilled the questions down to a single theme, anger.
Here’s how the conversation went.
Frank: “Your Holiness, may I ask you a question?”
Dalai Lama: “Yes.”
Frank: “Is there an antidote for anger?”
Dalai Lama : “Yes.”
Frank: “And can you tell me please, what would that be ?”
Dalai Lama: “Very simple. Very, very simple. You will not get punished for your anger. You will get punished by your anger.”
A line to live by.
That one sentence has stayed with me, guiding me in the years since. It reminds me that holding onto anger only harms ourselves.
Oh, and that lighten up! I was among the reception party, sternly standing at attention for him as he came out of arrivals at Aldergrove Airport. He came up to me and tickled me under the oxters. "Lighten up," he said.
Another nugget of wisdom to live by.
