A NORTH Belfast man says he hopes his own son's tragic death has helped save many people's lives, ahead of his 20th anniversary this weekend.
Philip McTaggart, known as Pip, took his own life on April 23 2003, aged just 17-years-old. Traumatised and grief-stricken after this heart-breaking loss, dad Philip battled with guilt as he tried to understand what had led to his son’s death.
He soon realised that suicide was a taboo subject that many people shied away from and has dedicated his life ever since to help save lives.
Philip founded PIPS (Public Initiative for the Prevention of Suicide and Self-harm) in 2003, a few short weeks after his son’s death, and further helped set up two dedicated prevention centres in North Belfast.
Today, Philip continues to promote positive mental health through his own Mind Skills Training, Coaching and Wellbeing.
Ahead of his son's 20th anniversary, Philip sat down with the North Belfast News and began by recounting the events of that awful day.
"Philip, or Pip, was the type of young lad that everybody loved. He was mischievous and very witty, with lots of friends," he explained.
"Three weeks before Philip died, Mark Catney from the Bone took his own life. I remember Philip saying to me that he could never do that.
"On Easter Tuesday, April 22 2003 I was in Ardoyne and met a man who told me his son tried to end his own life. I remember listening to him and thinking that was terrible. I left and sort of forgot about it.
"Little did I know, that night, Philip’s girlfriend got in touch with my wife to say she was concerned about him. He was talking about ending his life.
"I got home and I was discussing it with my wife. I thought maybe he had been out drinking or had taken drugs. I remember thinking why? He had so many friends, had just started a new job and was about to turn 18 in a few months.
"My wife phoned Philip that night. He was crying but just said he was out and about. She tried to get him to come down home and see our seven-month-year-old twins.
"We ended up going out looking for him. I remember standing at the top of Brompton Park at about 2.30am and thinking he is just at someone’s house and he will wake up in the morning and everything will be ok.
"I remember standing on the Bone Hills and I looked over the whole area.
"It was about 10am the next morning and I got a call from Philip’s aunt and she was crying. I went up to the house and could hear his mummy screaming.
"I got back in the car after someone told me he was at Holy Cross chapel. I remember Fr Aidan Troy came running out of the parochial house."
Philip's body had already been discovered in the grounds of Holy Cross.
"I was so angry because I just wanted to see him. It wasn’t until the morgue later that I saw him. He was on a trolley and he just looked like he was sleeping. I kissed him on the forehead."
Grief-stricken, Philip says he had an urge to do something following his son's death and around 12 other people in North Belfast, who took their own lives that year.
"A week later, at night time I went back up to the grounds of Holy Cross where Philip took his own life," he continued.
"It scared me but I wanted to try and get into his head and what was he was thinking. I looked around and it was a very lonely place.
"From that moment, I had a sense that there was something I had to do. There was a number of other young people who took their own lives soon after and I ended up speaking to some of the families.
"I started campaigning, with radio interviews and stuff. I founded PIPS but it took a lot of great people to build up something that hadn’t been that before.
"There are many organisations that exist today to help people that all came about from Philip’s untimely death.
"I had 17 years with Philip. I would rather have had them than none at all. I often wonder what he would be liked now. Would he be married with his own kids? I wish he would have met my twins now.
Helping to reduce the stress and pressures of your day.
— Philip McTaggart (@Mindskills03) February 1, 2023
Even the Mayor of Belfast called in for some mindfulness and relaxation.
Great feedback
Thank you all
Mindskills Training & Therapies at Home pic.twitter.com/i5ejxwihPm
"Philip changed me. I believe I am a stronger and more caring person today. While people are still dying and poor mental health is on the increase, many lives have been saved due to PIPS and other organisations out there. I can take some satisfaction because of that.
"I knew life would never be the same but it is not as bad as your head makes it out."
Reflecting on increasing mental health and suicides in today's society, Philip says much more needs to be done to address the epidemic.
"Today, there are more and more people on anti-depressants than ever before," he added. "The 25th anniversary of the Good Friday Agreement has been talked about this week, but back in 2003, the local community was still going through the traumatic experience of Holy Cross Girls' (school blockade).
"People were still coming to terms with moving from conflict to peace. Young people were wondering where they were going and what to do and that still exists today.
"There are also problems today with the health service. People can’t get in contact with their GP. I am going to continue doing the work I am doing with Mind Skills Training. I not only focus on suicide prevention but promoting positive mental health, regular acupuncture, mindfulness, visualisation and other remedies.
The more people we have trained in mental health skills the better for our communities. pic.twitter.com/uqybgt4QUw
— Philip McTaggart (@Mindskills03) March 29, 2023
"I think there needs to be a better departmental approach from governments and a curriculum in schools to build up resilience, positivity and confidence in our young people. To fail at something is ok. You have to experience something several times in order to get better at it.
"My message to anyone out there who is struggling is don’t become a statistic. There are many people out there who are willing to listen, talk to you and help and support you through difficult times."
A special Mass will be held in Holy Cross Church in Ardoyne on Sunday evening to mark Philip's anniversary and dad Philip is encouraging everyone to attend.
"Fr Aidan Troy, who did Philip’s Mass will say Mass this Sunday evening at 7pm at Holy Cross Church. Everyone is welcome to attend," he said.
"Before the Mass, some of my family and friends are going out for a meal and we are going to celebrate Philip’s life. I will think of Philip and all the families affected by the death of a loved one."
You can contact Philip McTaggart of Mind Skills Training via the website here.
If you need to talk to someone, you can contact Lifeline 24/7 on 0808 808 8000.